Yeah yeah, it's been a while, but it's not like anyone is actually reading this thing, right?

So late last week I feel like I turned a corner in this wedding planning/marriage prep thing.

Two weeks ago I officially had my freakout session where I doubted the entire reason for the whole thing. I was scared and mad and highly doubtful that I could make this thing work. But talking it out with J really helped to diffuse the situation. He's such a good guy! Instead of just throwing his hands up at the whole thing and me, he listened to what I had to say and we came up with ways to tackle it together. Unfortunately the thing *I* need to keep working on is to not let things fester. I don't like to rock the boat, but when I can't take it anymore it (I) gets ugly.

So it wasn't an immediate 180. There were some tears, some more conversations, some LISTENING sessions (a very important skill that we had somehow managed to forget), and some more tears.

We also managed to take a break from all the crazy wedding planning to have some fun! I know! We forgot to have fun, but we're better now... Last weekend we actually went to see a movie (A Scanner Darkly if you must know), had lunch out, sat by a fountain (ok so I was writing bridal shower thank yous, but we were outside!) went for a walk, had dinner with a college friend who was in town, went to the Gilroy Garlic Festival for a few hours AND managed to get drunk with our neighbors at an impromptu courtyard party! Ok, we also met with our photographer for 2.5 hours, but even THAT seemed fun!

What it really comes down to is that I love this man! I'm not always going to be floating on cloud nine, but when that happens it doesn't mean I don't love him. It just means I'm human. We've been together for so many years that I can't imagine my life without him. We're such a great team and as long as we can keep communicating, we're going to be great!

So now I feel a little better about where we stand. Yeah, we still have a lot to do, but at least the list seems finite now. It's not like finishing one thing on the list makes 4+ other things get added to the list. Invite list is done so no more 'discussions' about that. I'm still trying to get at least ONE thing done a day. Seems pretty reasonable and I'm not freaking out too much. Of course, I do reserve the right to get stressed again a week before the wedding, but then I can always put my family to work helping with stuff which is really the reason they wanted to be in town so early anyway... right? =)

Current Mood: calm